This past week was a little tough and a little exciting.
Enjoy the fun of failure
I made a mistake a work that wasn't huge, but still got pulled into my boss' office to discuss. I hate that. As a child in school I always used to cry if I ever got in trouble, and it appears that hasn't changed much. I'm just better equipped to hold it in, which I'm not sure if better. I take things very personally and hate failure. My biggest fear is losing my job for some reason, and while I know that isn't something that's going to happen, it will always be in the back of mind. Fear is a powerful motivator even if it's just in your head. It also can cause undue stress which is terrible, so I guess it's a trade off.
I can't say I "enjoyed" the failure or that it was "fun", but I did try and remember that yes, I made a mistake, and yes it wasn't smart, but that's the end of it. Move on. Learn from it.
Ask for Help
I asked for help again at work with a problem I didn't know how to solve. I'm finding that asking different people is more helpful than my direct teammate. I get a lot of "I'm too busy" or "Not right now" that is very frustrating. I'm having to get creative in finding people for help and times that work for us both.
30 is long enough
All my hard work with my first course paid off. My first exam came back with a nice 89% mark on it! I'm super excited that I did that well. Gold star for me! This shows me that going at it slowly and steadily is the way to go. I get great amounts of time on the weekend to hammer through a lot of the material, just need to get more time during the week. I think this will be easier once I am in a different book and am not lugging around my 1000 page textbook.
This weekend I enjoyed my time on Sunday. I recently joined an NFP forum that has a lot of great women on it. It's inspired me to go back to Church and get more in touch with my faith again. It's been a long time since I've gone and I miss it. Part of it is my exhaustion and part of it is my anxiety about going alone. Frenchie may be a cradle-Catholic, but he's not much for going to Church. I need to re-think about going alone and put a positive spin on it. I will enjoy my alone time, be less of a nagging wife and strengthen MY faith rather than ours.
I felt more whole after I went this weekend and really took that feeling through with me all day.