April Happiness Project: Week 2

This past week was a little tough and a little exciting.

Enjoy the fun of failure
I made a mistake a work that wasn't huge, but still got pulled into my boss' office to discuss. I hate that. As a child in school I always used to cry if I ever got in trouble, and it appears that hasn't changed much. I'm just better equipped to hold it in, which I'm not sure if better. I take things very personally and hate failure. My biggest fear is losing my job for some reason, and while I know that isn't something that's going to happen, it will always be in the back of mind. Fear is a powerful motivator even if it's just in your head. It also can cause undue stress which is terrible, so I guess it's a trade off.
I can't say I "enjoyed" the failure or that it was "fun", but I did try and remember that yes, I made a mistake, and yes it wasn't smart, but that's the end of it. Move on. Learn from it.

Ask for Help
I asked for help again at work with a problem I didn't know how to solve. I'm finding that asking different people is more helpful than my direct teammate. I get a lot of "I'm too busy" or "Not right now" that is very frustrating. I'm having to get creative in finding people for help and times that work for us both.

30 is long enough
All my hard work with my first course paid off. My first exam came back with a nice 89% mark on it! I'm super excited that I did that well. Gold star for me! This shows me that going at it slowly and steadily is the way to go. I get great amounts of time on the weekend to hammer through a lot of the material, just need to get more time during the week. I think this will be easier once I am in a different book and am not lugging around my 1000 page textbook.

Enjoy Now
This weekend I enjoyed my time on Sunday. I recently joined an NFP forum that has a lot of great women on it. It's inspired me to go back to Church and get more in touch with my faith again. It's been a long time since I've gone and I miss it. Part of it is my exhaustion and part of it is my anxiety about going alone. Frenchie may be a cradle-Catholic, but he's not much for going to Church. I need to re-think about going alone and put a positive spin on it. I will enjoy my alone time, be less of a nagging wife and strengthen MY faith rather than ours.
I felt more whole after I went this weekend and really took that feeling through with me all day.

February Resolutions Week 2

Taking Care of my Body & Mind
As of February 13th I gave up going to Starbucks for coffee a Caramel Macchiato. For real! (I may have slipped this past weekend...) I haven't really missed it. I still go for a walk with my coworkers as I believe that was a big part of going all the time. "Coffee" is usually a social thing for me, so it is taking a lot of will power to not buy one when I'm there, but I'm proud of myself for cutting that part out. I actually feel better.

As part of the mind-body connection, I also challenged myself to give up Starbucks for the duration of Lent. As well as pray every day. My goal is to pray on my walk/run in the morning or on the walk to the bus. I'm always so rushed and running that I'm making extra time to walk and be present.

Mardis Gras precedes Lent so I had a a Starbucks to indulge one last time on Fat Tuesday. Ash Wednesday  was the start of the Lent season. I went to Mass at lunch to a church that is nearby. It was PACKED! I was lucky enough to get in the door but there was people standing on the sidewalk behind me. It thrills my soul to see so many people gathering.

I have gone to Barre class twice since my last check in. I absolutely love it! Check out this review for all the details. I am so excited to have this class to go to. Not only is it a great workout, but the upper body portion is great rehabilitation for my shoulder and back. I've booked myself in for the next 2 weeks. Getting up for a 9:00am workout class is a great way to start the weekend. I can easily stop on the way home at the farmer's market to pick up groceries for the weekend/week.

I haven't been keeping up with my running this past week. I was incredibly sick with a cold from Wednesday up until today (it's still hanging around). Running when you can't breathe and it's cold out is a mess and difficult. Hopefully this week I can get back to you.
I officially signed up for my 5K in May! only 96 days left to get in run shape. As in, actually run 5K at least once before I have to do it on race day.

Organize
My email archiving is slowly coming. I have successfully deleted 3 folders of information that was once important, but doesn't make a lick of difference in my life now. Things that are either there for nostalgic purposes I've archived. Another email task I took on was from my phone. I don't need to keep more than 7 - 14 days worth of email on my phone. I've cut it to 14, but even that seems like a bit much. If I don't reply to it right away, I will get to it within a week.

The filing cabinet in the office is slowly getting more organized. We went through a bunch of folders this weekend looking for one document (that never turned up) so it got a good clean out at the point. I have a pile of to-do now. Thankfully you can actually see the craft table again!

Nagging Task
My clothes hemming is still nagging at me. This weekend I WILL go through and decide if I actually need things hemmed or not. Sometimes it's not worth fixing.

Joyeux Mardi Gras!!

Today is Mardi Gras (or Fat Tuesday or Shrove Tuesday). Which means if I was on the ball and remembered, I would be making gluten-free pancakes or rice flour crepes. Sadly we are having taco salad and then I'm going to have wonderful Pecan Caramel frozen yogurt after I teach a piano lesson.

Part of my Happiness Project was to give up Starbucks for the month of February. Cut back on the sugary-caffeinated drinks for one month. In my first week I failed miserably at it. Over the weekend I only had regular coffee with frothed milk, made at home. Monday I skipped Starbucks and ended up with the biggest headache! Today I caved. Why is this relevant? Because it's Mardi Gras! The day of indulgence before Lent begins. Tomorrow though, 40 days of Lent begins!

Most people think of Lent as "give something up" which is part of the fasting, but it's also about doing something. Starting something spiritual. While I would love to say "I will go to Church every Sunday" I know I don't have the time to do that right now (you should see my to-do list for the next 4 months. eek!). While it's a lame excuse, it's mine and I stand behind it. Rather than make a commitment I can't keep, I plan to pray on my walk to the bus every morning. Not only will this make me slow down, it will also put me in a better frame of mind to start the day. Spending 5 minutes with God will be a nice conversation and force me to focus on the present.

I have found a Catholic Church downtown that has a noon mass tomorrow for Ash Wednesday. I'm very excited as I've always been busy with work or other commitments on Wednesdays. This time, I won't miss it. I'm sure my coworkers will wonder what is on my face when I get back from lunch.

Conversation with God

The past 1.5 years has been a blessing and hard at the same time. A lot of happiness and a lot of struggle. A lot has happened in the last year and half.

• We got married.
• Both Frenchie and I started new jobs.
• I started teaching piano.
• My wrist hit another all time high (or low depending on how you look at it)
• I lost a close aunt that was also my mom’s identical twin to cancer.
• I started a home business selling Epicure.
• A niece was born on Frenchies side of the family.
• I did The Husband Project and The Marriage Project.
• Julie and I did a bible study together.
• Been on and off again with this fitness program or that.

But through it all, the one thing that makes it a hard year is my lack of faith. Before we got married I was in the RCIA program and was very rooted in our church. I may not have had a lot of friends, but I looked forward to going every weekend and seeing those people who were converting with me. We had our own group and it was great. After the wedding, I lost touch with most of them, and then when my aunt passed, I lost my faith a little. I was angry at God for answering my prayers. I prayed she would not suffer for long, but she did for 4 months. She passed while Frenchie and I were on our honeymoon. And I wish more than anything we could have been there for my mom and family. I regret not being there still. I was angry at God because he took such a wonderful person is such a hard way. I was angry because my aunt was also my Godmother and I never cherished that relationship until it was too late.

This has kept me up for a lot of nights crying silent tears. It has kept me from going to church and praying for her safe passage to Heaven. We went a couple times in between the wedding and now and I could never make it through communion without breaking down into tears and crying in the pew. While you’re in church and people are generally good to you, you will always be judged by those sitting around you. It’s one thing to seek comfort, but quite another to have someone look at you when you’re clearly in grief and make you feel like you should leave, like you are interrupting their experience. And granted I probably was.

Last night I had a long chat with God about my aunt and about my faith. The reason I cry during communion is because of its reminder to me of her. The last time I saw her she said she kept thinking of one phrase from church and it helped her be at peace. “Lord I am not worthy to receive you, but only say the words and I shall be healed”. Those words are powerful by themselves, but add an emotional tie and they take on a whole new meaning. While in conversation (or prayer if you want) I came to the realization that although it’s terribly sad to hear those words and think of what they meant to her, I need to think of the experience completely different. It will still be sad, but it’s also an opportunity for me to feel closer to her; for me to remember her. To think of it as a constant reminder she is with Him and at peace and watching over us.

I woke up this morning and made a vow to attend church this weekend. It’s time I come back to the flock and forgive Him and forgive myself for feeling so guilty about lacking faith for the past while. To go and realize that it’s a blessing to be so emotional and to know that I need to get through it and finally have closure. It’s time.

During my coffee run this morning I ran into a fellow parishioner and it felt so good to talk to him. I told him some of my lame excuses for not attending Mass. Things like Frenchie not coming with me, not wanting to sit alone, etc. He told me I can always sit with him and his wife. They go to a mass time that would work for me and they’d be happy to be there with me. They don't know about the great loss I need healing from, but if they asked I would gladly share.

It's amazing when He just lays it all out when you open your heart and accept. 

24/40: The Power of the Praying Wife by Stormie Omartion

The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

From Goodreads: The trials and pressures of modern life can make the prospect of a fulfilled, meaningful marriage seem impossible. In The Power of a Praying Wife, popular Christian author and speaker Stormie Omartian pinpoints common marital struggles and reveals the miraculous way that disciplined prayer can alleviate heartache and sustain unity. According to Omartian, a marriage's success depends upon "laying down all claim to power in and of yourself, and relying on God's power to transform you, your husband, your circumstances, and your marriage." Omartian attributes the success of her own 25-year marriage to dedicated prayer for every area--however specific--of her husband's life; from his finances and his work to his integrity and his temptations. Each chapter offers insight into areas that are especially important to men, followed by "power tools" (inspiring, topical Scripture) to guide one's prayer life and transform a woman's mind with regard to her husband. This practical read will encourage women to trust God to change their spouse, and undoubtedly refocus one's perspective on God's power rather than one's own personal predicamen

Julie from Book Hooked Blog and I did a Bible study together and this was the book we chose to start. We are both married, no kids. Both God-fearing Christian woman whose faith plays a big part of their life. We both struggle with our faith at times as do most people. We figured doing a Bible study together would help us out. Get us thinking, reading the Bible, praying more and thinking about God first. There are thousands of miles between us, so our weekly (sometimes not so weekly) meetings were done through Skype. I feel like I have gotten to know her more than email and chat could over the past 8 months and thankful that we got it in our heads to take on this journey together. Thanks Julie!!

I think this book is definitely directed at a wife who has more marital experience than either of us do. I also think it's directed at a wife who struggles to keep her faith in check while caring for her kids and husband and working a 9-5 job. That said, I did find a lot of useful chapters and a lot of questions that really made me think, pray and talk about them with my husband. There were a few chapters were far more into a dark place than either of us have been in our marriage. It's hard to think about what we would do if put in those situations. The answers to all our questions was always, pray about it, but we both admitted honestly that it would most certainly NOT be our first response, or second, or even third.

I found that chapters like His Future, His Family, His Faith, etc that were very general and something that no matter husband, wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, single, are something we can all relate to on some level.

I felt that there was a lack of actual Bible study in it. There were readings, yes. But only two or three verses in each chapter. I would probably not classify this as a Bible study and more as a Faith study. There was a lot of time spent on prayer, which was great, and thinking about situations that one may have or need to deal with. The readings were great, what little there was.

It was a good first bible study, but I don't think I'll read any of her other books in the series.

Rant: It's very frustrating trying to find a Bible study for women that isn't "You're Single" or "You're married, which also means you have kids. Because being married without kids is a unthinkable". If anyone knows of a Bible study for the "Double Income, No Kids (yet)" people, let me know!! The two churches I've gone two don't have anything either. What happened to taking care of the faithful that are getting their life together so they can provide for their future children? There are those of us out there that want to have Husband and Wife time before a family; That want to enjoy their relationship just the two of them and have a rock foundation to build a family on.

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Bible Study: Week 9 and 10

Now that Julie and I are back on a regular meeting schedule I'll hopefully get my Bible Study blogs up a little sooner after we meet.

Week 9: His Purpose
This week was all about whether your husband is following God's purpose for him. Do we know what his purpose is supposed to be? How can we help.
For me this is a hard chapter to answer. I don't know what God has planned for Frenchie or what he is destined to do. From what I can see, Frenchie is right where he wants to be, or he's making changes to get there.

Week 10: His Choices
Frenchie makes good choices. I don't second guess him very often, and he always asks my advice if the choice will affect us both in a major way. I also wouldn't say that he looks to God to help make his decisions, but I'm a firm believer that God does speak to Frenchie in his thoughts. He takes the time to think decisions through and I believe in that time, God helps him make the right decision.

We're meeting again in a couple weeks to discuss Week 11 & 12. His Health and His Protection. It's nice that there are usually two chapters that go very well together.

Bible Study: Week 5 - 8

I'm a little behind in my blogging on the Bible Study Julie and I have been doing. If you recall, we both picked up a copy of The Power of a Praying Wife and started working through it.
With life being what it is, we've had several weeks where our meetings get bumped due to vacation, illness or general "oops, I forgot" on both sides.

We seem to have found that meeting every two weeks is working well. We do two weeks at a time and find we have more to talk about this way.  We aren't sticky with completing this bible study in the 30 weeks that the book is timed for. Sometimes you just can't get it done.

I missed blogging about the weeks in more detail and I will try and do more in the future, but for now, here is a small recap of the past 4 weeks.

Week 5 - His Affection
I liked this chapter. Frenchie and I show affection in different ways, but we also have a good understanding of how to show it to each other in a way that is received well. It's also one of the first things that goes when our lives become distracted. It's also one thing that we work very hard to maintain in our relationship.

Week 6 - His Temptation
Julie and I both struggled with this chapter. We both have very strong relationships with our husbands and don't fear temptation in the same sense we felt the book was referring to. There are no addictions, no women we worry about or anything like that. We both pray something like this will never come into our lives.

Week 7 - His Mind
This chapter focused on how sound of mind our husbands are. Are there lies being whispered to them or do they have fear. Other than getting down on themselves, both Julie's husband and Frenchie have a sound mind. Those times when they are hard on themselves is the opportunity for us to pray and give encouragement through God's words.

Week 8 - His Fears
I liked this chapter a lot. It sparked some great conversation with Frenchie. I asked him what his fears were and he listed quite a few that I had thought of. I told him others I thought he had and he was surprised at the list. He did agree but said he tries not to think of those ones in particular. According to our readings,

1 John 4:18 There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

love will take away fear. I mentioned to Julie that the fears Frenchie has are based out of love, yet love will take that fear away. She said the same for her husband and we both thought it was interesting.

I am really enjoying this study even though some chapters seem to be a little out of our realm of marriage at the moment (and in some cases, hopefully forever)

Bible Study: Week 4 His Sexuality

I won't go into a lot of detail on this past week because I don't want to share this part of my marriage online. So stop reading if you're expecting something juicy.

All I will say is that the chapter was very good and the questions were really hard to answer. I normally don't read my answers to this study to Frenchie, but I chose to on this one. It sparked some great conversation between us.

Julie and I are both very open people so talking about this subject with her was very therapeutic, humbling and validating. We are both able to talk about sex is a very clinical way without embarrassment or feeling like it's inappropriate. Obviously we leave out specific details as that is private and we both value our husbands privacy, plus, no one wants to hear that stuff.

I'm so glad that I have found such a wonderful friend. This bible study is bring Julie and I closer even though we are in different countries.

Next week is all about His Affection.

Bible Study: Week 3 - His Finances

This week was all about His Finances. A number of the questions focused on whether our husbands are responsible with their our money. Does he give the way that God intended? Does he have anxiety about the family finances? I didn't find this topic enlightening as much as some of the other ones, but I believe that is because there is no tension in this department of our life.

Julie and I found that our answers were very much the same this week. We both think our husbands are responsible with money, but more than that, they are responsible with the family. We are both newlyweds so finances are a big part of our life right now. We both work along with our husbands so the responsiblity of the family finances are very much a joint task. 

One of the biggest questions was whether our husbands, and ourselves, give the way God requires. This is a hard one, and although it may come off as selfish, I believe that God sees our intentions and understands.  Frenchie and I may not give to the poor by monetary means, but we give in other ways. We go through our life and donate that which we do not need. To me this is maybe even better than giving money because it is tangible. If you give someone money for clothing, there is no guarantee that is will be spent on that. Where as if you give someone clothing, they have what they need, not what they want.

I also believe that God wants us to be happy. He wants our family to be provided for. We give what we feel we can.

I'm interested to see what next week holds. The topic is His Sexuality. We are both very open to talking about sexuality so I believe the discussion with be good. I don't know how much I will share on my blog about a topic that is a very private matter between husband and wife. As open as I am about the topic, there are things that are sacred in a marriage.

Bible Study: Week 2 - His Work

Julie and I met Thursday night on Skype again. I look forward to meeting with her every week! It's in my calendar and Frenchie is fully aware I'm busy for an hour chatting.

We were able to relate more to chapter 2 than chapter 1. Now we are getting into parts of the book that we can relate to. Praying for our husband to have good things happen to him, changes for the better, lessons and guidance from God is definitely what we were looking for. We are both in agreement that the rest of the book is going to be just what we wanted.

This chapter is perfect for where Frenchie's life is right now. He likes his job, but isn't fulfilled. He's successful, but has more potential. He wants a change, and has started looking for it. These are all things I pray for. Having a chapter on this specific situation was ideal. I have more pointed prayers, more guidance on what to pray to God for. Better ways to pray for the same thing. Sometimes it takes a mind shift to ask the same question.

Next week is on Finances. Going into this week, I know that Frenchie has a good grasp on finance, so we will see what God leads me to pray about.

Bible Study Time!

I’ve wanted to do a Bible study for a long time and never found a time/place to do it right here in my own city. The church I love only has them during the day. For someone with a full time job, that’s not really going to work. There is none at night and I’ve tried to start one with friends, but it never works out. I blogged about my New Year’s plans to maybe do one someday and a fellow blogger, Julie asked if I’d do one with her. Since we live in different countries we “meet” through Skype once a week.
Took us a day to figure out which book we wanted to order. There are so many out there! Julie and I have chosen to do The Power of a Praying Wife by Stormie Omartian. We are both newlyweds (her longer than I) and decided to do this one because it sounded like us. We pray for our families, friends and husbands, so why not do a bible study that will assist us.

First impressions: THIS IS NOT THE BOOK FOR ME!

I started reading chapter 1 and wondered what I had gotten myself into. Chapter 1 is all about being on the verge of separation from your husband and that maybe praying will help avoid a divorce. Uh.. Julie!! What the heck are we reading? No where in any description did it say anything about this book helping you avoid divorce. I LOVE my husband. We JUST got married. I’m not so sure this is the book for me. Julie said the same thing and figured we’d give it a couple chapters before punting this book and picking up something else.

Our first discussion went well despite the depressing material. There was a lot of questions we both said "no" to which is ok in my books. I'm sure our answers were probably light compared to what the author was intending her book to be for. Being it was our first time “meeting” each other than email/twitter/gchat we spent a lot of time just talking and getting to know each other better. We did manage to talk about the bible study a little bit and both said we’re excited to keep going and hoping it gets less “your marriage is ending, read this to ask God to help you”

We are meeting this week to talk about Week 2/Chapter 2: His Work. I have gone through the chapter in the book, but haven’t gotten to the questions yet. The book did make a drastic improvement from the first chapter. Very little divorce chatter and more focus on your husband, which is what we were going for in the first place. This week talks all about his work. His = husband, not His = God. When I told Frenchie the chapter name, he thought the latter. This is fitting for this week as Frenchie was looking at applying for new work.

Expect more about this book throughout the next 30 weeks as Julie and I go through it.

picture from clipartclipart.com

Happy Easter! (a little late)

We were gone all weekend enjoying the sunshine with Frenchie's family. We drove up to his parents and stayed for 4 days. We both had Friday off, and took Monday as a holiday.
Easter is now a very special time for me. Last year, at the Easter vigil, I was confirmed into the Catholic Church. It was a life event for me that has meant everything. I spent 18 months in the RCIA program (Rite of Catholic Initiation for Adults) preparing for that day. It was a struggle, and there were times I wondered why I was there, but then something beautiful would happen, and I'd regain my strength. 18 months was a really long time but it's been worth it.

I was able to enjoy the Easter Vigil again this year. Even though it was not my home parish, I still felt that joy. There were 5 adults joining the Church Saturday at Frenchie's home parish. I didn't know any of them, and neither did he, but I still welled up when they said their professions and were baptized and confirmed. I kept thinking "That was me! 1 year ago!"

This journey has been bumpy. I've had wells to deal with where I didn't feel like going to church. I've felt like I lost myself a little bit and didn't look to God. I've also had moments where I go to Church and feel completely at peace. I have felt like that is exaclty where I am meant to be.

I have no idea if I'm a better person over the last year, or if it has made an impact on my day to day life, but I feel better, and I think that is what matters.

I hope everyone had a wonderful weekend, no matter what it means to you and how you celebrate.

Day 15 - Bible Verse

"For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life." John 3:16

This is such a popular verse but it truly does have substaintial meaning. I'm not sure if this is my favorite bible verse, since I haven't gone through the entire bible, it was definitely the first one that popped into my head.

God gave up his only son for us. Jesus came to Earth, walked among us as a human. He experience humanity. After all that, he was crucified and suffered greatly for our sins.

I can't think of anything more powerful than knowing God gave Jesus to us, to suffer for us, to die for us. I can think of no greater love in this world.

Wedding Wednesday: Taking Care

I was on The Knot this weekend looking at the checklist they have on there.
I realized mine said "1 overdue item". I hate seeing that word "overdue" so I looked at what it was.

"Start taking care of your body in preparation for the big day. Get a workout routine and a diet started. Join a gym or find a personal trainer to help you."

Oooohhh... right. I should probably start doing that...
I was able to check it off because I've started working out again. Sort of. I'm not going back to lifting weights just yet. I'm still terrified of hurting my wrist and undoing all the good my prolotherapy is doing. Instead, I've started taking Zumba classes.They brought an instructor into the gym at work so i signed up. What a blast! The first class I felt like a smoker (sorry if I offend, I've lost a lot of people to the habit) because I could hardly breathe and I was wheezing by the end. I am NOT a cardio person. As my coworker says: "I'll only run if someone is chasing me with a very large knife."
The second class went much better. I felt great and I swear I was the only one smiling in the class. It's so much fun, and an amazing workout at the same time. It was great to go and have fun and not care what I look like. (Which, btw, I think I look like an awkward chicken). I know for sure it's a workout because my butt muscles hurt for a few days after.

I have yet to work on the diet part of getting prepared. I tend to eat what I want, when I want and it usually works out, as long as I'm active. I have a very high metabolism and burn through calories just thinking. (It's a blessing and a curse. I'm hypoglycemic with makes life difficult.)
Over the next couple of weeks I'm going to be trying very hard to start brining my own lunch to work and adding healthier foods to my diet. I was great at eating healthy when I worked out every other day and was focused on building muscle. Now I'm just focusing on being happy, and eating delicious food does that for me.

Faithful Friday: Neophyte Mass

This past Wednesday was my last RCIA class. We made bread. I could have done without going. I learned nothing whatsoever. We actually sat at the back of the classroom and talked in a small group or played on our blackberries or iPhones. Even though I could have not gone and been perfectly content, I liked being with people that are so welcoming and just hanging out and talking. The only thing that could have made it better would have been a Starbucks.

Next Wednesday is the Neophyte Mass. This is a mass specifically for those who are newly converted to the Catholic faith. As part of this Mass, each one of us new Catholics will have some part. I will be reading the Responsorial Psalm. I am excited to be a part of the Mass. I think it will be good to be a part of it rather than just observe it from the pews.

I'm excited and sad at the same time. My 'family' that night will be those that I converted with, and my sponsor. No one from my blood family will be there. It's times like these that I really miss Frenchie. It's something small, but meaningful and I have no one to share it with that is of direct relation. I am thankful for my friends from RCIA that will be there, it's just sad that they will all have their families and I won't.

Somedays, I feel like my faith has pushed me away from my family. I feel like since I am a Catholic, I have this separate life that I need to nurture on my own.

Faithful Friday: Opening Prayer

On Wednesday at my RCIA class I volunteered to give the opening prayer for our group.
I'm not a great public speaker, but I am a firm believer that if you make yourself do it, you'll get over the anxiety. What better place to speak than with loving welcoming people!
I prepared myself by writing a prayer. I thought I would share it with you. It's very specific to the RCIA, but I was thanked twice by Sister Pauline for how thoughtful it was and how I included everyone.

sign of the cross. Amen.

Dear Lord,
For those of in the RCIA, grant perseverence, wisdom and your love.
For those new Catholics, grant a stronger faith, wisdom and your love.
For the sponsors and catechists, grant encouragement, patience and your love.
We ask for these gifts through the words you taught us:

(Lord's Prayer)
Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed by Thy name. Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
For the Kindom, the power and the glory are yours, now and for ever. Amen

Saint Patrick. Pray for us

sign of the cross. Amen

Faithful Friday: Ongoing Conversion

I never got around to posting last Friday, so this is a double whammy.

The previous week at RCIA we were to bring our favorite prayer to be put into a book that we will all receive late as a keepsake. Our class consisted of reading the prayer we brought and then signing it, giving it to the person who was going to bind them into a book.
We sang a few hymns and clapped for everyone who shared. It was very relaxing and and a fun evening.

This week I didn't go to class (gasp!). I know I'm horrible. I was having a very high anxiety day and had to sit in my car for 15 minutes after getting off the train before I was capable of driving home. Not a good way to start the evening, so I opted to stay home. I enjoyed my evening and I don't think I missed a whole lot. The topic was Ministries. Various people were going to give talks on their ministry and urge us to sign up.

I'm all for giving my time to the Church. Right now I don't have any. Someday, when I have the time to make the best of the opportunies I will be apart of a ministry. At that point I will ask questions about them and decide from there.

Faithful Friday: Meditation

In Wednesday's class this week we looked at how to develop a life of prayer. We focused on meditation and sitting quietly to listen to God. I've never been any good at meditating. I dislike yoga. My nature is to feel music, to be active and meditating/yoga doesn't make me feel that way.

Our catechist for the evening wanted us to go through a meditation. It was supposed to be 20 minutes, but we ran out of time and did 14. Those were the longest 14 minutes I've ever sat through. Needless to say, I was trying very hard not to bolt about halfway through, and trying very hard not to burst into tears. It was excrutiating to sit there that long. When the 14 minutes were up I got up immediately and asked my friend sitting next to me to start talking about anything. Just talk. She started talking about her wedding and that helped a ton! I listened and felt better in a few minutes.

Needless to say, meditation is not for me. I realize that many people would say meditation will improve over time, but I'm a person that doesn't WANT to meditate. I don't feel this burning need to do it. It's not me. "Meditation will help improve your panic symptoms" "It will help reduce stress". Thanks but no thanks. Anything that causes me more stress and causes me to get closer to having another panic attack is not helpful. I don't need that in my life. I don't need to work through it. I have other ways to reduce stress that are much more enjoyable. I would rather put on a song and dance for the 14 minutes and feel better that way.

Faithful Friday: Confirmation Photos

As promised, here are some pictures of my confirmation at the Easter Vigil, April 3, 2010

The Altar. They had beautiful flowers set up.
Lighting my candle for the Renewal of Baptismal Vows. For the meaning of the symbols go to this post: Faithful Friday: My decorated candle

Profession of Faith. Here we recited the Nicene Creed. I had to mumble through it since I don't have it memorized. In Mass, we always say the Apostle's Creed which is the shorter version.

Being annointed with the Chrism.
I am officially confirmed at this point!

Right after Confirmation my sister snapped a photo of my sponsor and I.
She has been beside me for the last year and half and never lost faith in me. She has been a true inspirtion, a great friend, and someone I hope will remain an important person in my life. I couldn't have asked for someone better to jouney with me.
THANK YOU!

Faithful Friday: The Sacrament of Reconciliation

I just got home from my very first confession.
Being in the RCIA program, and already being baptised in another religion, I won't be baptised again at Easter. In order to be Confirmed and receive Holy Communion, I need to be free of sin and in a state of grace. To be in that state, I went to Reconciliation.

I prepared before going a list of sins. I got a handy little pamphlet from the Priest at my Wednesday class on "How to Make a Good Confession". It was very helpful.
The Priest on Wednesday gave some very good advice that I utilized. Sin breaks us from God. It puts a tear in our relationship that we heal with confession. To start, he recommended we go through the 10 Commandments and judge our life thus far (since our last confession, which for me has been never...). I found I have broke several of those.
Next, he recommended that we look at the different ways our life relationships have been injured. I can tell you for sure I have injured every relationship listed below.

• Relationship with God
• Relationship with Community
• Relationship with Self

I was very nervous to begin with. Sitting waiting made me think back to being in Grade 4 when I got busted for climbing trees in the back portion of our school yard. I had to laugh because thinking back, that wasn't that bad. haha
I had written everything down, so the actual act of confession wasn't difficult. Remembering what to say was, but I had that trusty "How to" and made use of it.

It was liberating to say a lot of the things outloud. Somethings came up that I didn't even know I was holding on it. I can honestly say I will be going again (we are all sinners, get over it). The more often I go, the better person I will become.
I'm a talker, so the more people I talk to about an issue, the better I feel. I have God forgive me, even if I don't forgive myself at that moment, is very comforting.