Monday, May 27, 2013

May Happiness Project: Success or failure?

I don't believe this month was a failure. It all depends on how you look at it.
Did I finish my tasks I set out to do? Not at all.
Do I feel lighter? Happier? Absolutely.

Take time for a project
I managed to get my garden going and it is growing like crazy! I'm still waiting for the beans, potatoes and one squash plant to surface, but things are looking good. I can't wait to have fresh veggies late summer/early fall.
Not complete
Wedding album photos
Photos of Beta/Taylor into album

Be a house of memories
I unloaded the camera of a bunch of photos that have been sitting on there forever. It's time to remove all the wedding and honeymoon photos that are just sitting on the card. They've been on the computer for a long time now, so there's really no need to keep a card half full.
I have yet to get around to making albums, but perhaps this summer.
Not complete
organize memory boxes
Update picture frames

Pray in the morning
I have been praying in the morning and it does lighten the day. It is a good start to let everything go and start fresh.

How I lightened up in unexpected ways
I am learning to let go and I believe a lot has to do with my garden. It's something new. Something I haven't ever done before. It's not up to me for it to grow. I can provide the seeds, the dirt, water and in part, the sun, but I can't actually do the growing. That is left to the plants themselves. If they grow, I'm ecstatic, if they don't, I guess it just wasn't the right.

When I was in therapy last week, my therapist thought it was interesting that I was able to just let go and not stress over my garden. It will grow or it won't. He also thought it was interesting that I have the same sort of laissez faire attitude towards other parts of life very near to my personal life.

So why can't I "lighten up" in different parts of my life? My go-to strategy needs to be adjusted for certain situations. I've discovered that I can use the "whatever happens, happens" attitude for things that are internal. Situations that have no influence by someone else, in other words, situations that are under my control.
A friend of mine sent me that image once and I'm finally starting to see why it makes sense. In my most stressful situations or the ones that I worry about the most, I am in the yellow or the red. I need to shift my focus for those situations to the green and concentrate only on that part. It's a hard task to do for someone who is a nurturer or a giver. I have tendencies towards making other people happy before myself. It's a hard skill to learn, to take care of yourself first.

I feel lighter in May, even though I didn't get my tasks done I set out to. They'll be done eventually. I am working on reframing how I think of things. Looking at the things I can control and trying to forget about those I can't.

It's nice to let go. <-- never thought I'd say that!