Fitness Friday: Should be Week 6 of P90x

I titled this should be week 6 because I haven't actually done anything this week. Other than 3 hours of teaching pole and one hour for myself.
I'm going to be doing the P90x a little differently. I won't be doing any of the cardio workouts. Only the lifting days. Let's review my goals for doing this program before going into more reasons.

1. Gain some muscle. I want to be stronger and have that toned look.
2. I would like my 6 pack back, but a stronger core and back is key.

I have lost 5 lbs since starting the program. For most people this would be a good thing. For me, it's the opposite. I don't like losing weight. I don't particularily like gaining either, however, losing has always been a big thing for me NOT to do. I'm naturally thin and have always had a dancers shaped body. When my butt starts to jiggle going up the stairs I don't start running, I do squats and lunges. I do all those things that help tighten the muscle, because that is more effective and actually works that particular part.

What does losing 5 lbs mean for me? Most of these are superficial and shallow, but they are reasons. Let's face it, we all have them.
It means that my clothes doesn't fit. I bought a new pair of pants and the tags are still on because they're too big. My tight jeans that show off my butt are baggy. This could be an excuse to go and buy new pants, but I'm not a shopper and spending money on clothes that will only fit for a few months seems like a waste to me. I now have 3 bins of clothes. Stressed out Me. Normal Me. Lazy Me. Those are my 3 sizes.

It means my wedding dress is too big. I still have 4 months, so I have time to either take it in, or put some weight back on. Thank goodness it is a lace up so it's not a huge deal. The V in the back will either be tied up close, or not.

It means I look skinny. I HATE the word skinny because it has a negative meaning. I was always made fun of as a kid for being thin and it was horrible in junior high. By high school, everyone had figured out that I didn't gain weight and ate whatever I wanted so that stopped. (Anyways, enough digging up the past).

It means that I'm very underweight for my age and height. This never used to bother me, but for some reason, now in my mid-twenties, it does. I think I'm just more conscious of it now than I ever was before.

Long reasons short, as much as my cardio system isn't super great and I can't run long distances, doing the cardio portions of the P90X isn't doing all that much for it. I'd be better off running outside to get my cardio system better. The purpose of the cardio workouts is to be in the fat burning zone. Not really what I need right now.

So, until it turns nice outside and it's not dangerously icy to start running, I will only be doing the lifting workouts and the stretch dvd. I think instead of doing the cardio, the stretch DVD should be the way to go. Flexibility is not my strong suit and I think it would do a lot more for me than cardio. I'm still doing pole twice a week, so that will definitely help me build more strength.