Stripped down

Today I went for my first interview since I lost my job. It didn't go well, but the first one rarely does. You learn from it and build from there.
I went in not knowing what the job was, I was called and said I'll be there. Mistake one was not asking what the role was. (not that it would have made a difference anyways) I was given a lot of very technical questions that I was unable to answer. I'm not sure if this is because they were wanted more than I had experience wise, or that I just suck at what I do. I'm not sure which, that's not the point.
Halfway through the interview I realized that the questions I didn't know the answers to were theory questions that most people in my field would know. What does this mean? Not much really, but it did throw a red flag in my brain. The only thing I could think of while in the interview was how much I didn't want the job. This isn't typically what you think. You're usually thinking "I hope I gave a good answer", "I hope they call me".
I came home and cried, not because the interview went badly, but what it means for me. It showed me that my current career path isn't the one I should be on. My passion is not where I thought it was. Here would be the stripped down part. I basically, in the matter of a few hours, stripped down my very professional identity to nothing. I took the first job I was offered out of university and let it fully define me as a person. The scary thought that has me in a ball of anxiety is that maybe that person isn't who I really am. I'm unsure who I can be, and that's the absolutely terrifying part. I feel like I'm starting over with little guidance.
I heard people say we should all ask ourselves "What do you want to be when you grow up?" I didn't know the answer to that question when I was kid, and I still don't have a clue where to begin answering it today. I'm a believer that no one really knows the answer, but at least they have an idea.

August 2010 In Review

Personal Highlights:
Frenchie came home permanently to a new job.
I got laid off from mine.
We've been engaged for a full year.
I finished my prolotherapy treatments.
Our engagement photos were taken and delivered.

Book Reviews:
This month was slower than most for reading. With everything that happened, it sort of took a backseat.
The Good Man Jesus and The Scoundrel Christ (2/5)
Shadow Hills (4.5/5)
Sundays At Tiffany's (3/5)


Movie Reviews:
The Other Guys
The Expendables
Public Enemies

Movie Review (18): Public Enemies

I recorded Public Enemies on the PVR for Frenchie and I to watch. I remember wanting to go to the theatre to watch this one but never getting around to it. I can't say I'm sad about that. It was pretty slow moving, and not that entertaining. The acting was great though. Johnny Depp and Christian Bale both did a fine acting job.
I found the movie very quiet. There wasn't a lot of dialogue, and very little music. I wasn't familiar with the history with John Dillinger so I'm not sure if that was a disadvantage. It just seemed to fall flat and I felt like there was something missing. I thought there would be more bank robbing and more excitement in that respect. Perhaps I had the movie pegged wrong.

I almost wanted to shut it off and go to bed. I got very tired watching it and almost fell asleep. I'm not much of a fall-asleep-in-movies kind of person. It's rare that it happens. Having to keep myself awake doesn't ever bode well for a movie review.

Movie Review (17): The Expendables

I've heard mixed reviews about The Expendables. A lot of people liked it, a lot of people didn't. Here's my advice: Don't go to it expecting some complicated, thrilling plot. It's a Stallone movie. Expect lots of shooting, explosions and cheesy lines.
In my mind, those three things can make up a great movie for entertainment purposes. I'm a huge fan of Jason Statham and Jet Li. Those two in the movie was enough for me to go and see it. I'm also a huge action movie fan. After a rough day, nothing beats watching a pure action flick that can make you laugh, curl your toes and say "omg that just happened" or "where the hell did that gun come from?"
There really isn't much else to say about it. It's entertaining, it's gory, it's far-fetched and completely awesome.

41/50: Sundays at Tiffany's by James Patterson

Sundays at Tiffany's by James Patterson
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

A friend of mine sent me Sundays at Tiffany's to read. She thought it was light, and romantic and something to keep me entertained with. She was right.

Michael is the imaginary friend to Jane. At 9 years old, he leaves as is the custom of imaginary friends. It's in the rules. The kicker is that the child doesn't remember. They wake up the next day, and forget they ever had an imaginary friend. Except Jane. She remembers everything about Michael.

Fast forward years down the road. Michael is on a break from his last assignment, in New York where he sees Jane. He has never once seen one of his previous assignments as an adult. He struggles to figure out what it means and eventually decides he can't stop thinking about her and needs to know her.

I liked this book. It was cute, a quick read and something I would read before bed since it didn't take much thought. The chapters were incredibly short, so I was able to read 3 or 4 chapters and then lights out for bed.

I've never actually read a James Patterson book but this is enough to get me to read more of him. I liked the style of writing. I'm not much for romance novels, but Sundays at Tiffany's was great.

View all my reviews

Buy it from Amazon

Book Blogger Hop - Aug 27 - 30, 2010

The Book Blogger Hop is a weekly event hosted by Jennifer at Crazy For Books and runs from Friday to Sunday. The Hop is a fantastic way to get your blog noticed more and visit some other cool blogs that you didn't know about before. Head over and sign up and see what you can find!

Each week a new question is asked. This week's question comes from: 

Books Are A Girl's Best Friend

Do you use a rating system for your reviews and if so, what is it and why?

I don't really have a rating system other than what is suggested on Goodreads mixed with a little of my own explanations.

• 1 Star - Didn't Like it. I probably won't pick up another book by this author or continue a series
• 2 Stars - It was OK. It didn't do a lot for me, but it wasn't horrible. Depending on the author, I could read more of them if this wasn't a common occurrence.
• 3 Stars - I liked it. I usually rate with 3 stars if the book was good. Not amazing, not spectacular, just good.
• 4 Stars - I REALLY liked it. I give a lot of 4 stars out. The book is awesome, I would recommend it to someone and would definitely read more.
• 5 Stars - A book has to be pretty amazing to get 5 stars. I will be thinking about this book long after reading it, remember to recommend it to everyone I know. I'll most likely read a 5 star book again.

Thanks for stopping by! Leave a comment!

Fitness Friday: Cto5K fail; Pole success

I have failed miserably at the Couch to 5K this week. I did no running whatsoever. I'm hoping this weekend I can get one or two in. It's been so incredibly hot this week, I can't fathom taking Beta out, or myself in the heat. That's no fun for either of us and likely to give one or both of us heat exhaustion.

On a good note, I have decided that I need to get my butt in gear with pole class. I've been at a stand still for a while working on moves and decided it's not working for me anymore. It's time to do a routine instead. There is the Taboo Naughty but Nice Trade Show coming in November and Polejunkies always sets up a booth for advertising. Part of that means that we will be doing performances on the main stage to attract more interest. I have been on stage since I was a kid in dance, so I love this. It's not ballet or jazz anymore, but it's still a performance and I love the rush. (We wear Polejunkies tanks and shorts if you're wondering, and yes, it completely covers us)

I figure I will probably do 2 - 3 routines, so it's time to focus. At least one of those will be a duet with my teaching partner and friend, so we have a lot of work to do. For my solo however, I've chosen to do one to Spacelord by Monster Magnet. It has an awesome beat and the way the music flows, there's definite places to pull off tricks and other places to dance. After Tuesday nights class, I have the beginning segment complete. Still needs some tweaking and some practice, but it's on its way! I'd say at the end of my next 6 week session, I will have it complete and rehearsed, on the way to a second routine.

Wedding Wednesday: Marriage Preparation Course

On August 13 - 15, Frenchie and I were busy taking a marriage preparation course. This was put on through Catholic Family Services here in the city and a requirement for us to complete in order to get married in our church.
Frenchie groaned about going, but I think he actually enjoyed bits of it.
Our facilitators were a married couple going on 36 years of marriage. They have 5 children and were very real with us. They didn't at any point sugarcoat marriage and how hard it is. This was refreshing.

August 13, Evening "What you Bring To Your Marriage"
We went through Myths about marriage, Truths about marriage, and did a quiz on self-exploration in giving and receiving love. The questionnaire was filled out from how you like to receive love and how you think you partner prefers to receive love. Once you're done, you compare your answers. Frenchie and I were pretty close to knowing how the other wants to be loved.
We also filled out a Marriage Time Capsule.  What is your vision of marriage in 1 year, 10 years and 30 years. We matched up pretty well with each other in how we saw our life in the future.

August 14, Morning: "Enhancing Your Relationship"
I think we both enjoyed this segment of the course a lot. It went through our different ways to communicate and how we deal with conflict. We also got to see the phases of marriage. This was a hard part to take but it was very enlightening. The phases of marriage aren't all bliss. There is conflict, there is difficult times and the point is that you work through it together, knowing there is something to work for.

August 14, Afternoon: "Financial Management"
We both found this part of the course incredibly boring and redundant. For us, we've been living together for 3 years and our finances are combined already. We both have a pretty good handle on the money thing, but I did see the point of this section being in the course. So many people have no idea how to save or what to do once they are both financially responsible together.

August 15, Afternoon: "Values and Blessings of Marriage"
There was no morning on the Sunday so we started just after lunch. This section would be what I call the "Catholic part" The rest of the course could be for anyone preparing for marriage. This focused in more on what Catholics believe about marriage. First we went through that marriage is a Sacrament, a covenant that reflects Gods promise to us.
One thing I found interesting was drawing a parallel between Jesus' approach to respect and how it should be applied in marriage. He was very firm on using "how can I help you?" and that is something we should use in marriage as well.

All in all it was a good weekend. Frenchie and I learned a little about each other, affirmed some things we already knew and had a good time together.  I would highly recommend a marriage preparation course (religious or not) to anyone getting married. It was something everyone can learn from.

It's Monday, What Are You Reading (Aug 23 - 29, 2010)

It's Monday, What are you reading is a meme hosted over on The Book Journey. Book Bloggers gather to post what they have read the past week and plan to read this week.

This will be my first What Are You Reading Post. Thanks for stopping by to visit!

I finished:

 

Shadow Hills by Anastasia Hopcus

This book was her debut novel. I absolutely loved it! You can read my whole review here.

I'm Reading:

The De-Stress Diva's Guide To Life: 77 to Recharge, Refocus and Organize your Life by Ruth Klein

(ebook)

Sunday's At Tiffany's by James Patterson

Next Up:

MOCKINGJAY!!!

It should be shipped and heading my way this week! It will be a fight between me and Frenchie to see who gets to read it first. Luckily I'm still at home this week, so I get first dibs.

After Frenchie reads it, my sister wants it, and then the other sister. 

40/50: Shadow Hills - Anastasia Hopcus

Shadow Hills by Anastasia Hopcus

My rating: 4.5 of 5 stars


Shadow Hills is Anastasia Hopcus' debut novel. It was fabulous. I absolutely loved the characters and the story.

Persephone (Phe) is a 16 year old girl who follows the path her sister started by going to Devenish Prep school. There is something different about the townies in Shadow Hills. Zach catches Phe's eye and there is something between them that's more than chemistry. Phe notices that Zach isn't normal, and neither is his sister Corinne, or his cousin Trent.

Phe is a little bit of an impulsive character. She knows she was called to be at the school and delves into a mystery that the towns people have kept a secret for centuries. The mystery in the book unfolds slowly enough that you don't know everything at the beginning, and quickly enough to keep you interested.

There is murder, mystery and a forbidden love that kept me reading to the point where I basically stopped communication with the outside world until I finished this book.

I must say that I was hooked from the beginning, but Hopcus really had me when she described one of the characters as a Chris Pine look-a-like.

Anastasia Hopcus should be proud of her debut novel. I can't wait to read more from this young author.


View all my reviews

Fitness Friday: Couch to 5K

I know I've posted about the Couch to 5k training program before, but I never went anywhere with it.
By being off work, I have the time to do it and someone to jog with. She may have 4 legs and is covered in fur, but Beta is an awesome running partner. She always wants to go and never says no.

I wasn't really following the Couch to 5K until today. I've been going on walks, and last week started to job a little. The purpose wasn't for me, but to tire Beta out so I could get some study time in. After thinking about what I was doing, I realized I should probably think less of her, and think of my own training.  Keep in mind that I am NOT a runner, and I don't love it but I see the health benefits of it. My cardio sucks and I need to improve it if I'm going to start doing pole routines again. Dancing to a 3 - 4 minute song is a lot harder than you think! Thinking back to the past 2 weeks, here's my progression.

Week 1:
Jog 1 minute, walk 2 - 3 minutes. For 15 minutes.
Week 2:
Jog 1 minute, walk 2 minutes. For 20 minutes.

I'll be starting week 3 Monday and I am determined to finish this training program while I have the time.
Week 3:
Jog 90 seconds, Walk 90 seconds, Jog 3 minutes, Walk 3 minutes. Repeat

I'm not an overweight person by any means. Most people call me skinny. In my own eyes, I feel the same, except when it comes to my butt and my stomach. My butt jiggles more than it ever used to when I jog or run upstairs. This annoys me. My stomach isn't as flat as it used to be. I suppose now that I'm not 20 anymore, things start to stick where they will for the rest of time unless I do something about it.

As I mentioned above, this isn't to lose weight, although a little off the rear-end would be nice. This is to make my heart healthy and give me more energy.

Are you lazy like me? Do you want to get off the couch and start slowly?
Try the Couch to 5K program. It's pretty easy, and you can go at your own pace. It has only 3 workouts per week.

Blog Giveaway on Carol's Prints

The 7 ARC giveaway is done, so go check if you're a winner.

Carol is now doing another giveaway. It's open internationally (good news for this Canadian) so you can enter wherever you are.


She is giving away a SIGNED hard cover of Beautiful Creatures and a SIGNED ARC of Beautiful Darkness.

Hop over to Carol's Prints and enter!
If you mention Stella (Chic Fit Geek) sent you, we both get extra entries (hint hint)

Book Blogger Hop: August 20 - 23, 2010

Every Week Crazy-for-books.com hosts the Book Blogger Hop with a question.

This week's question comes from Libraryscatbooks!

How many blogs do you follow?

My Google Reader Feed says I follow 57. Those are split between book bloggers, a few of my Nest friends, a few Knot friends and some girls from the pole world. I even have some blogs of people I know IN REAL LIFE.

I don't get around to reading them every day. There are a lot of times I come on after a couple of days and get through just those that are my most important.

Thanks for hopping by!

Wedding Wednesday: Caterer Check!

Frenchie and I met with our Caterer last Wednesday. We will definitely be signing him.
He had several different menus to offer. We had one in mind when we went to meet with him and have now chosen a slightly different one. We are adding in a wonderful pasta dish that we hadn't thought of adding. The menu actually says that the pasta is a red sauce pasta, but he said most people prefer the linguine based on attire, so we could substitute that at no charge. He's also letting us substitute green beans for broccoli.

Our basic menu will be:

Salad

Bruschetta

Linguine

Chicken Breasts

Roast Beef (chef carved)

Potatoes

Carrots

Green Beans

Coffee/Tea

Normally he would include assorted desserts as well at the end of the buffet. As an option, he offered to cut our cake an serve it as dessert instead and offer platters of fresh fruit.
Two things about that.

1. He won't charge a cake cutting fee.
2. Fruit is what I would call Frenchie's family dessert. Whenever we are at his parents, fruit is in abundance. We eat it every day after most meals.
3. Getting the cake cutting out of the way right after dinner makes for more dance time.

The business is a family business started by his father in the late 50's. He was telling us his father has yet to give up the secret seasoning for the potatoes. I thought that was hilarious.

He's also offered to give us discounts on rentals. For linens, napkins and place settings, he is offering them much cheaper than we could hope to find them ourselves. When we explained that we'd be decorating Friday night before the wedding, he said he would come by, have a look around, drop off the decorations we need and pitch it.

It was nice to have a personal conversation with the caterer. He was very organized, has been doing weddings a long time and has great references. I'm so excited that we finally have this check!
He has our date confirmed but won't take a deposit until his new prices are in come September. He said his prices haven't changed in the past 2 years, but if they did, it would be by cents, not dollars.

Movie Review (16): The Other Guys

Frenchie and I were in debate on which movie to go and see. I wanted to see The Expendables, he wanted to see The Other Guys. We polled the audience and ended up with his choice.

I'm not sure how to review this movie. It was funny because I laughed. But I also shook my head a lot and said "what the f*&^?" more times than I can count. I should probably put a disclaimer that I'm not a huge fan of Will Ferrel. I do love me some Mark Wahlberg though. However he was in baggy clothes for most of the movie. That body is FAR too nice to have it covered up.

Frenchie didn't want to see The Expendables because he'd heard it's got terrible dialogue full of clichés. The Other Guys was about the same. Full of clichés and crappy dialogue.

There's not much else to say really. I wouldn't recommend it, but if you like Will Ferrel, I'm sure you'll enjoy it.  Frenchie and I kept giving each other looks through out the movie with that knowing, "are you serious" glance. Needless to say, my veto power of his choice of movies will now take effect until he picks a good one.

Therapy Tuesday: Prolotherapy #8

I went for my last prolotherapy session.... EVER. (according to the doc)

He did the normal test he always does on the ligaments and there was zero pain. He sent me on my way saying I did not need treatment #8. ::HAPPY DANCE::
If by chance I do feel some pain along the way, I am to go back. Doc said sometimes there is a slight regression, but he thinks I should be ok.
Where do I go from here? Strengthening exercises. Over the past 5 years, my forearm muscle in my right arm has atrophied.  I've lost a lot of strength and the ligaments picked up the slack. Pole certainly helps strength a little, but I need to start doing a little bit at a time to focus on that particular muscle. First up? Taking a 2 - 3 lb weight and doing wrist flexion and extensions. Nothing too drastic, but it's a start.

I'm so happy that I finally found a solution rather than a temporary fix. I can't believe it only took 7 treatments. Who new injections into a ligament could help 5 years of chronic pain in a matter of 4.5 months.

I would suggest to anyone to check out this type of treatment if you have ligament issues. It's incredible.
Please read through my journey below and make a decision for yourself. This treatment is relatively new to the medical community, so be sure to do some research when finding someone.

Naturopath - prolotherapy
Treatment #1
Treatment #2
Treatment #3
Treatment #4
Treatment #5
Treatment 6 & 7

Friday Blog Hop (#1)

Crazy For Books does a book blogger hop every Friday. This will be my first time participating.
I'm not solely a book blogger, but it does take up quite a few posts. Thanks for hoping on over to my blog!
I hope you enjoy my blog and find some books you may wish to read. My reading has slowed down a little in the recent month because of summer, but hopefully it will pick up when the warm weather ends.

Today's Blog Hop Question: How many books do you have on your 'to be read shelf’?


Answer: 
In my possession on my shelves/floor there are 38. (Yes, I went and counted) 
I currently have 7 on hold at the library that I'm waiting for as well.
I also have 155 on my goodreads to-read shelf.

New Opportunities and a life change

Last Wednesday was a brutal day. I got laid off from my job. It was completely unexpected and I still have no idea why it happened. They aren't required to tell their reasons.  I was shocked, my family was shocked and I've heard from a few former co-workers they were shocked too.
So by 9:30 on Wednesday morning, I was on my way home.

I'm not a dwell on the past type of person. It sucks. It happened. There's nothing I can do about it. I'll never know why, and I have to learn to live with that. I need to look at what the future is going to hold for me now. I have a wonderful opportunity to figure out what I want to do with my life next. I'm in my mid-twenties, so I still have a lot of life to live.

If you've read my previous blog entires on my anxiety, you'll know that I was under a lot of stress and very unhappy. This unexpected unemployment is actually going to lead to bigger and better things. I was struggling with making a huge decision myself and was even thinking about timelines. Stress is a brutal thing that can destroy your outside world and your body. There's something to be said about stress and it's affects on the human body.

I'm sad that I don't have a job. I'm sad that I don't get to see such wonderful people every day. I'm happy that my stress levels will go down a little bit, and I'm happy that I have an opportunity to move on to something new.

I'm still not sure what I want to do yet, but I'm taking a bunch of career workshops to brush up the résumé, learn some valuable interview skills, networking skills and all sorts of other useful things you probably never think of taking classes for. I still want to remain in IT, but take a different approach to it. The IT world is so vast, I never thought of looking outside of programming. I think this will be a real eye-opener for me to see what else I can do with my degree.

As for the personal stuff, I'm excited to get some time to bond with Beta more. Since I'm home, she only really needs to go to doggy-day-care twice a week for socialization. It's one of those places that's good for her to go, but Frenchie and I can cut down the cost a little. Beta and I have been taking long walks when we're both home and it's been good to see how much she's improving.

On top of all that, I will get some more time to finish my fitness certification course. I've been struggling with it so hopefully this gives me the time I need to get it done. Time goes by so quickly! I'm running out  of it for this course and the deadline is approaching quickly.

Reading has sort of fell by the way-side. Since I'm not doing the 40 minute commute I haven't had a lot of time to read a book. Hopefully once this course is done and I have some sort of schedule I can get back into it.

To all my friends and family: Thank you for supporting me! You guys have been awesome and I'm so thankful for all you do.
To my blogger friends: Some of you already knew this, some of you didn't. Thank you for your support, it means a lot!

7 ARC Contest on Carol's Prints

If you have not yet heard about the 7 ARC blog giveaway, go and check it out at Carol's Prints!

You could win:
*Signed ARC of MATCHED by Ally Condie

*ARC of PERSONAL DEMONS by Lisa Desrochers

*ARC of FIRELIGHT by Sophie Jordan

*ARC of TORMENT (sequel to FALLEN) by Lauren Kate

*ARC of EXTRAORDINARY by Nancy Werlin

*ARC of HALO by Alexandra Adornetto

*ARC of DUFF by Kody Keplinger


If you enter, please say that Stella over on Chic Fit Geek referred you! You and I both get entries ;)

Blogoversary over on In Which A Girl Reads

There is a massive blog giveaway at In Which A Girl Reads. She has had her blog for close to a year now and wanted to do a giveaway. There are 25 books in the giveaway! You could win 3, 2 or 1 of your choice.
Go on over and enter!

39/50 - The Good Man Jesus and The Scoundrel Christ

The Good Man Jesus and the Scoundrel Christ by Philip Pullman

My rating: 2 of 5 stars


I'm not sure what to say about this book. I started out really liking it. It was a dubbed down version of the gospel for adults of the current day. It was a fictional story based on the Gospel.

At first I could go along with Jesus and Christ being twins born of Mary. Different take, but I'll go with it. The last few chapters through me for a loop and I really struggled with them. As a Catholic, I believe in a few things Philip Pullman sought to take down through his words. He used Jesus as his pulpit and got a point across that shows how he (as an author) really feels about the Church. I found this offensive only because he used such a wonderful historical figure for his own purpose.

The story itself, which is claims to be right on the back cover of the book, was interesting. It tells about Jesus and his brother Christ and how their lives intertwine. The major miracles are there, but there's a lot of putting words into both characters mouths. I realize this is fiction, it's just strange how some things match with the Gospel and some things don't at all. I would hate to have someone who's never heard of the Gospel read this book and take it as how it really went.

Given said that, I would still recommend this book to those with a strong faith. It made mine stronger, and it wasn't a hard read.

View all my reviews >>

I won a book!!

I am so excited!!
I won a book blog giveaway!!
Melissa on Melissa Writes Fiction did a giveaway for I Am Number Four.

Summary: Nine of us came here. We look like you. We talk like you. We live among you. But we are not you. We can do things you dream of doing. We have powers you dream of having. We are stronger and faster than anything you have ever seen. We are the superheroes you worship in movies and comic books—but we are real.

Our plan was to grow, and train, and become strong, and become one, and fight them. But they found us and started hunting us first. Now all of us are running. Spending our lives in shadows, in places where no one would look, blending in. we have lived among you without you knowing.

But they know.

They caught Number One in Malaysia.
Number Two in England.
And Number Three in Kenya.
They killed them all.

I am Number Four.

I am next. 

I am so stoked to have won something and to receive a new book!

July in Review: Books

A lot of my nestie book bloggers have been doing a month in review of books they read. I thought I'd hop on board.

Second Helpings (3/5)
The Tension of Opposites (3/5)
The Bride Collector (4/5)
Sh*t My Dad Says (3/5)
Sister's Red (4/5)

Read This Month: 5
Read This Year: 38

I'm getting close to reaching my updated reading goal for 2010.

Reading is going to slow down a little bit which makes me sad. I'm working towards getting my AFLCA Fitness Certification for dance. It's a lot of work and I'm doing the class on my own since none of the weekend classes worked for me. I need to get down to studying way more than I have been. Makes me sad to have to take library books back without having read them.

Wedding Wednesday: Engagement Photos Sneak Peak

Frenchie and I did our engagement photos on July 29th. What a blast!!! He even said how fun it was and how much he loves our photographers.
We spent 3 hours doing photos with them. We could have continued for another hour or so I'm sure. We were all having such a blast.
We met the Shelley and Jeff at a Starbucks halfway between where we both live. From there we travelled to this area under an overpass near a beautiful bridge. In this one location we had an old rundown bus, fields, a beautiful bridge, and railroad tracks. Perfect location to get a bunch of different types of photos.
From there we went to a parking garage. This was the nicest parking garage I had ever been in. There was some great architecture and a wonderful glass wall to get some neat photos around.

There are only 4 pictures up for a sneak peak.  In the next 3 weeks we should see more.
Enjoy the sneak peak!

http://asiseeitphotography.ca/blog/?p=4383

Therapy Tuesday: Wishes for too much too fast

This morning was Frenchie and I's first commute together. We've never worked near each other before, so this is all new. We commute on the train together and walk within a block of each other. I thought this morning I would feel super relaxed and at ease on my way to work. I was wrong. I was able to hide the feelings beneath the exterior and internalize the anxiety this morning. I know this is probably the wrong approach since he won't know when I'm feeling like I'm going to implode, but isn't that easier on him? Isn't it easier that he thinks everything is fine until it's at the point where I can't hide it anymore? I know the answers to those questions are always no. It's better to share so he understands, so he knows.

I thought with Frenchie home, I would feel at ease and I would have less anxiety. I didn't have to drive this morning, I was able to read like I normally do and I had someone to walk with to work. Anxiety level was still pretty high. Perhaps only having him home for the past week isn't enough to me to really settle back in. Perhaps it's going to take longer for things to get back to 'normal'. (fingers crossed)

I'm a little disappointed and a little scared. What if him being home doesn't actually help my levels at all? What happens if with him home, nothing changes for me and I still have all this stress and anxiety every day?

It's going to be nice to have someone to talk to and who understands a little bit. This is a huge learning curve for him as well. Now that I know I have really high anxiety and can recognize when it's happening, I'm able to tell him how I'm feeling in better terms and can ask for help. Even if he doesn't get what set me off (sometimes I don't even know) at least he can help me through it. Sometimes what he thinks set me off isn't the real cause. For example, this weekend we went out with his family on their boat. He knew I was anxious for a reason: I always feel sick. I do NOT have sea legs on me at all. That was part of it to begin with, but once we were on the lake, that fell through. I was nervous because we were way out in the middle of the lake. I can't swim that far back to shore if something were to happen. Silly? Probably. Real? very much so. I needed to keep my eyes on the shore and keep thinking to myself, "I could swim that." "We aren't as far out into the lake as we could be." "There are life jackets for everyone."

He held my hands and kept asking every once in a while how my stomach was. He's sweet and cares and tries to help wherever he can. I never told him the real reason for my needing his hands. I feel silly for feeling scared of the lake. I've never been in a boat in my life that has tipped over.

Here's to hoping things improve over the next few weeks.

August Long Weekend

For us Canadians, August 2nd is a holiday. For this long weekend, Frenchie and I went up to his brother J's cabin for a day and then off to his parents for the rest of the time. Frenchie and I bought a Canon Rebel T2i right before vacation so I had plenty of time to try it out. I love the new camera!!

We celebrated J's 30th birthday with family and friends. The boys went paint balling and the girls stayed at the cabin. Frenchie came back with some wonderful welts on his back. He said they don't hurt, but wouldn't let anyone touch them.







At the future in-laws we spent some time at the lake and on the boat. Frenchie's youngest brother, M got a new puppy with his girlfriend. She is absolutely adorable! Moxie is a poodle-chiuaua. Moxie had a blast playing with Monte, J's kitten.

It was a nice and relaxing weekend. I unfortunately was sick for most of it, but have a new found love for Nyquill. I slept so soundly the first two nights it didn't take long to get over my cold. Thank goodness since it was coming on 2 weeks of having the darn thing.

Enjoy some photos I took with the new camera. I'm loving this photography thing.

The pier

Moxie and Frenchie's Nephew

Monte's Paw