Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Therapy Tuesday: Frustrations

I am frustrated with a lot of things in my life right now.
  • Frenchie is away for longer than we expected. His contract at his current job has been extended. No idea for how long. He was supposed to be done at the beginning of June, but that's going to happen anymore.
  • I'm lazy. When I started this blog, it was all about following my fitness goals and having a place to put my goals, trials, successes and thoughts I haven't been to the gym since September 2009. I'm afraid to hurt myself, but I'm also afraid of the way my jeans are starting to fit, my lingerie is looking and thinking it's time I do some squats or start dancing more.
  • Anxiety. It pops up at the worst moments. Right before a meeting (one that I only have to sit in with 200 other people and listen). On the train on my way home. On the train on my way to work. In my RCIA class. Randomly throughout the day. I need to start tracking my symptoms better. I'm a firm believer in patterns so if I notice one, I should be able to prep myself accordingly and hopefully midigate the effects.
I'm not in a good place right now, and certainly not wanting to focus on the good things in my life. Right now I want to look at everything that sucks. Once I feel satisfied that I've found everything in my life that is awful, I will feel better and be on the upswing.  I know for sure I'm not nearly as down as I was several weeks ago. I know this well will not be nearly as deep as the last one. Things in general are better than before, I just can't help buy look at the negatives. I'm a pessimist. I fully admit it and accept it.